This is going to be the longest answer I've ever written on Quora because after reading the question details I want to say a lot to you. So many apparent problems, unmet expectations,burdens, negativity, loss of trust, people misunderstanding you have clouded your mind. You are not being able to act natural. Being frustrated for so much time, probably agreeing to what others believe about you seemed acceptable. Since, due to the aforesaid reasons, your power to reason out and logic isn't up to the full scale of what it can be, I'll happily do that for you. I'll separate our some features of you based on the question details.
The Good
The Bad
The Ugly
Got the pattern? Like everybody else you experience emotions. You do and I do. There is nothing wrong with that. But somehow, at the present moment, you seems to be inclined towards negative emotions. You can feel them at every level and this is what is killing you(metaphorically again!).
How come I'm able to see good in you while you can't do it right now?
Like I said, your mind is clouded by extremely negative emotions. Secondly, its your perspective. Talking about perspective,listen to this : A leaf is green is color. Scientifically speaking, it absorbs all the color and reflects green That is why we perceive it as green. The whole universe, including your mother,perceive it as green. Nobody sympathize with the perspective of the leaf. Is it green? No. As a matter of fact, it is everything but green.
Coming back to you, what you need is a paradigm shift in your perspective about yourself. How can you do it? Bring a transcendental shift in your emotions. Be happy. Feel happy. Focus on what you want,not the absence of it. e.g.- I don't wan't to fight with my mom is not similar to I wan't peace with my mom. That's where you need to understand the subtle difference.
Just to show your out of alignment with positive emotions- you used the word fail/failure seven times. Focus on the positive. Talk about success,feel successful,imagine success.
It couldn't be done
Instead of your true nature of a girl who is hopeful,confident and a fighter you have given in to the situation. You pity yourself. I've a comic strip for you.
Try yourself. Take the chance. You have a perfect backdrop for it. I know its hard to know exactly what you face. It's a dead who knows about the grave. But all you have to go from here is up up and up. Don't quit.
Story of Chinese Bamboo Tree
Like any plant, growth of the Chinese Bamboo Tree requires nurturing – water, fertile soil, sunshine. In its first year, we see no visible signs of activity. In the second year, again, no growth above the soil. The third, the fourth, still nothing. Our patience is tested and we begin to wonder if our efforts (caring, water, etc.) will ever be rewarded.
And finally in the fifth year – behold, a miracle! We experience growth. And what growth it is! The Chinese Bamboo Tree grows 80 feet in just six weeks!
But let’s be serious, does the Chinese Bamboo Tree really grow 80 feet in six weeks? Did the Chinese Bamboo Tree lie dormant for four years only to grow exponentially in the fifth? Or, was the little tree growing underground, developing a root system strong enough to support its potential for outward growth in the fifth year and beyond? The answer is, of course, obvious. Had the tree not developed a strong unseen foundation it could not have sustained its life as it grew. The same principle is true for people. People, who patiently toil towards worthwhile dreams and goals, building strong character while overcoming adversity and challenge, grow the strong internal foundation to handle success.
A Calm Mind
Once Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers.
While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."
The disciple walked up to the lake.
At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.
As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid.
The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"
So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."
After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back
to the lake.
The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy.
He returned and informed Buddha about the same.
After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.
This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear.
So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.
Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,
" See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own, and you have clear water."
Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own.
You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down.
It will happen. It is effortless."
Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process so keep your mind cool and have a great life ahead
So fight. Fight with all your might. Make yourself proud. Make your parents proud. Make us proud :)
The Good
- Never think wrong of others
- Love your parents,siblings,friends, everyone
- Wish to see everyone happy
- Was in love once
- Never thought about the lover who had hurt you
- Considered your love incident as a learning lesson and moved on
- True lover
- Try your level best to motivate yourself and do at least something good in your life to make your parents happy
- Preparing for exams
- Pray to God
- Don't wish to commit suicide and against it
- Have motivated others to live life
- Always against giving up
- Still open for an option which can work for you
- Think the world is beautiful
- Always wanted a peaceful and happy life
The Bad
- Cursed by others including parents
- Get taunted for past failure
- Your mother can easily find a flaw in you-she calls you the worst person in entire universe,
- Usage of mobile phone is misunderstood as a mode to flirt with random dudes
- Never been in a relationship
- Your lover had hurt you
- Don't want your feelings to get hurt
- Not shown interest to anyone after first failed experience of love and your mother accuse you of it
- Failed in a few exams
- Couldn't prepare for exams effectively because of the environment
- Thinks that the time has come to give up
- Feels you are struggling and there is no way to go
The Ugly
- Accepting that you are an all time failure-a miserable failure
- Thinking that your parents hate you
- Believe the belief of your parents- you cannot succeed anywhere
- Feel shameful sometimes
- Accusation of your mother about love hurts a lot
- Don't think you could ever meet your parents' expectation
- The lectures and taunts at home hurts so much
- Wrong prayer to god
- Thinking your presence doesn't make any difference to anyone
- Think there is no one to go to when the whole universe is against you
- Feeling that you are all alone
- Don't want to live anymore, think killing yourself for the sake of others is a good idea
Got the pattern? Like everybody else you experience emotions. You do and I do. There is nothing wrong with that. But somehow, at the present moment, you seems to be inclined towards negative emotions. You can feel them at every level and this is what is killing you(metaphorically again!).
How come I'm able to see good in you while you can't do it right now?
Like I said, your mind is clouded by extremely negative emotions. Secondly, its your perspective. Talking about perspective,listen to this : A leaf is green is color. Scientifically speaking, it absorbs all the color and reflects green That is why we perceive it as green. The whole universe, including your mother,perceive it as green. Nobody sympathize with the perspective of the leaf. Is it green? No. As a matter of fact, it is everything but green.
Coming back to you, what you need is a paradigm shift in your perspective about yourself. How can you do it? Bring a transcendental shift in your emotions. Be happy. Feel happy. Focus on what you want,not the absence of it. e.g.- I don't wan't to fight with my mom is not similar to I wan't peace with my mom. That's where you need to understand the subtle difference.
Just to show your out of alignment with positive emotions- you used the word fail/failure seven times. Focus on the positive. Talk about success,feel successful,imagine success.
It couldn't be done
Instead of your true nature of a girl who is hopeful,confident and a fighter you have given in to the situation. You pity yourself. I've a comic strip for you.
Story of Chinese Bamboo Tree
Like any plant, growth of the Chinese Bamboo Tree requires nurturing – water, fertile soil, sunshine. In its first year, we see no visible signs of activity. In the second year, again, no growth above the soil. The third, the fourth, still nothing. Our patience is tested and we begin to wonder if our efforts (caring, water, etc.) will ever be rewarded.
And finally in the fifth year – behold, a miracle! We experience growth. And what growth it is! The Chinese Bamboo Tree grows 80 feet in just six weeks!
But let’s be serious, does the Chinese Bamboo Tree really grow 80 feet in six weeks? Did the Chinese Bamboo Tree lie dormant for four years only to grow exponentially in the fifth? Or, was the little tree growing underground, developing a root system strong enough to support its potential for outward growth in the fifth year and beyond? The answer is, of course, obvious. Had the tree not developed a strong unseen foundation it could not have sustained its life as it grew. The same principle is true for people. People, who patiently toil towards worthwhile dreams and goals, building strong character while overcoming adversity and challenge, grow the strong internal foundation to handle success.
A Calm Mind
Once Buddha was traveling with a few of his followers.
While they were passing a lake, Buddha told one of his disciples, "I am thirsty. Do get me some water from the lake."
The disciple walked up to the lake.
At that moment, a bullock cart started crossing through the lake.
As a result, the water became very muddy and turbid.
The disciple thought, "How can I give this muddy water to Buddha to drink?"
So he came back and told Buddha, "The water in there is very muddy. I don't think it is fit to drink."
After about half an hour, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back
to the lake.
The disciple went back, and found that the water was still muddy.
He returned and informed Buddha about the same.
After sometime, again Buddha asked the same disciple to go back.
This time, the disciple found the mud had settled down, and the water was clean and clear.
So he collected some water in a pot and brought it to Buddha.
Buddha looked at the water, and then he looked up at the disciple and said,
" See what you did to make the water clean. You let it be, and the mud settled down on its own, and you have clear water."
Your mind is like that too ! When it is disturbed, just let it be. Give it a little time. It will settle down on its own.
You don't have to put in any effort to calm it down.
It will happen. It is effortless."
Having 'Peace of Mind' is not a strenuous job, it is an effortless process so keep your mind cool and have a great life ahead
So fight. Fight with all your might. Make yourself proud. Make your parents proud. Make us proud :)
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